


Insert joke about whiskey and getting your rocks off

by exceptionallyunfortunate



Category: Zero Escape (Video Games)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Blow Jobs, Drunk Tenmyouji Junpei, Drunkenness, Fluff and Crack, M/M, POV Third Person, Past Tense, Post-999: Nine Hours Nine Persons Nine Doors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:35:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29826447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exceptionallyunfortunate/pseuds/exceptionallyunfortunate
Summary: Pure crack fic. Drunk Junpei is a flamboyantly insufferable distraction while Aoi is trying to work.
Relationships: Kurashiki Aoi/Tenmyouji Junpei
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Insert joke about whiskey and getting your rocks off

**Author's Note:**

> Actually, the only additional content warnings I have are that there’s a reference to hanging and Junpei doesn't get off. This is just massive crack and I needed to get it out of my system.

Aoi’s string of curt keyboard clacking and muttered profanities was interrupted by the slam of Junpei kicking down the door.

“Aoi!” declared the dumbass, “you work too hard! It’s time for _fu_ -uuuuun!”

With enough force that his fragile skull bones nearly cracked, the Aoi in question pinched the bridge of his nose and swiveled around in his chair, already dreading what he might see. As luck would have it, the immediate nosebleed that his boyfriend’s outfit would have inspired was staunched in advance by his reflexive action.

“Oh my god,” he moaned, squeezing his eyes shut and immediately spinning himself back around to face his desk. “Why. _Why_ are you like this?”

Junpei waggled his speedo-clad hips, the flamingo pink feather boa draped around his neck swaying along with him, seen by nobody because Aoi refused to look. But the ear-to-ear grin on his face refused to fade as he shimmied across the office floor.

“It’s your lucky dayyyy~” he sang gaily, in that way that only gays really can. His hands slammed down on Aoi’s chair and for a moment Aoi felt slightly nauseous as he was whirled back around to face Junpei’s ridiculous ensemble: all feathers and bare skin and that ridiculously stupid grin that inched closer and closer until he could smell the zesty sweetness of those damn whiskey cocktails he liked to mix up.

Unfortunately for Aoi, a Junpei Tenmyouji full of alcohol was an unstoppable force that even a Kurashiki at their most immovable could not suppress. With a halfhearted “it was my lucky day _before_ you broke into the liquor cabinet,” Aoi sat back and resigned himself to whatever fate his tipsy lover had in store for him.

The lap dance left something to be desired, not least of which included a face that _wasn’t_ full of feathers. Junpei wiggled his hips over Aoi’s knees in a way quite closely reminiscent of a hanged man dangling from his noose. It wasn’t the most titillating image, but it certainly felt appropriate given how Junpei insisted on tugging at Aoi’s scarf in quite a painful and _annoying_ way.

“Okay okay okay, quit that,” coughed the man with the normal human neckwear. He pushed Junpei’s hands away and spat out a number of gaudy, fluffy feathers. “We’ve had our fun time, see? Can I get back to work now?”

It was a wasted question, obviously. Junpei tuttered disapprovingly and did something with his neck that was probably meant to be a shake of his head. “The fun hasn’t even started yet, babe,” he drawled, then immediately collapsed onto the floor.

Or so Aoi thought for the split second before Junpei’s hands started fumbling against his crotch. Despite being dangerously uncoordinated and offensively situationally unaware, the drunken bastard had managed to drop to his knees, undo his boyfriend’s fly, and pop the busy man’s flaccid dick into his sly mouth, all in one rather graceless yet fluid motion.

A very warm, _slick_ motion that included sucking, sucking, and _whole_ lot of sucking.

Like any sensible business millionaire with work to do and a world to save, Aoi turned rock hard. A fresh string of profanities tumbled out of his mouth, but they were very different from the ones he had been assembling before. He let his knees fall open a little wider, carded his fingers through Junpei’s soft hair, and sank back into his office chair to contemplate how such a _bonehead_ could have developed that absolutely pornographic talent for… well, the joke wrote itself.

Junpei bobbed like lifeboat lost at sea, his tongue only slightly more graceful than the rest of him as it lapped and swirled. His clumsy but oh-so-lascivious suction was hungry and unrelenting. The head of Aoi’s cock encountered no resistance at all as it slid in and out of his boyfriend’s tight, glossy lips, scraping back and forth across the smooth flesh of his soft palette.

It was extremely hard not to think about flooding Junpei’s greedy throat full of thick, hot cum.

It was _extremely_ hard.

_Aoi_ was extremely hard.

And with a hissed “shit, oh shit, Junpei, oh _fuck_ , Junpei,” Aoi did in fact flood Junpei’s greedy throat full of thick, hot, cum which Junpei, still thirsty, washed down with ease.

Any willpower that Aoi had left to deter Junpei from his whiskey-fueled naughtiness had been sucked clean out of him. Slumped low in his cushy swivel chair with his wilting penis drooping against a clothed thigh, Aoi could do little more than twitch and accept his diabolical lover’s sloppy smooch.

“You’re welcome,” Junpei purred, giving one last flap of his feather boa in Aoi’s face again. “Remind me to ask you to return the favor when I don’t have whiskey dick.” With that final tease, he and his perky ass pranced towards the door.

For a long moment, there was only silence and the heavy thump of Aoi’s decelerating heartbeat. He finally wiped a tired hand over his face and pushed his oversensitive dick back into his pants. “What a fucking idiot,” he murmured, shaking his head, but his lips couldn’t help but curl into a smile as he turned his attention back to the computer screen.


End file.
